A couple days ago my friend Amber asked me to speak in front of a group of ladies who have “Coder” behind their names (#LNK Coding Women).
I really didn’t hesitate to say yes to Amber, because well, besides Jill, Amber is perhaps the sweetest girls in the whole entire world, and I can’t say no to her. It just is what it is. So I said yes, and my Innie screamed “What the hell are you thinking?”. I told him to shut up. Outtie applauded loudly and gave Innie a snide look with a slightly curled lip to let him know that he was no match for her.
I should explain my inner personalities. Innie is an introvert. He is male. He doesn’t like speaking and he typically will be the one to talk me out of doing whatever it is that I think I need to do. Outtie is my extrovert. She’s a girl and she is sweet and lovable but doesn’t treat Innie very nicely. (Now, before you think I’m loonier then a loonie bird, I do know that I don’t have split personalities and that Innie and Outtie aren’t real.)
So I stood up in front of 40 or so women and I realized… I’ve got this. I love talking about Gotta Pixel when I know I can properly explain what it is, and why it is important to my life. I love to talk about my journey. I love to see shaking heads and smiles and I love to hear laughter when it isn’t at someone elses expense. I love standing there and for a minute, all 40 eyes looking at me don’t scare me half to death. But what I loved most was the group that came up to me and introduced themselves and said “thank you, that was inspirational”. Talk about cloud flipping 9.
Each day I grow strong in my confidence. Each day I grow closer to accepting the future that I see before me. Each day I realize that my dream of speaking at Lincoln High School is getting closer and I will reach that goal. Each day, I am closer to being exactly who I want to be. Courageous.